I knew it would happen. I did. I knew I couldn’t live in the same smallish city with him and NEVER run into him.
So I knew it was inevitable.
But not mandatory.
And after almost seven and a half years of it NOT happening? Well, let’s just say I wasn’t expecting it outside of Joann’s Fabrics.
I had gone over hundreds…no MILLIONS of times in my head what it would be like. Who doesn’t do that?
Of course I was reasonable with my visions.
I would be looking perfect. Great hair, a nice skirt and sweater, cute boots. It would probably be in the grocery store after work. I would have my cute purse on my arm and my phone in my hand. And I would be about 40 pounds lighter.
Shut up, it’s my vision.
Ok, so the outfit changed in my mind somehow, but even if he caught me in yoga pants, I would be ROCKING those yoga pants.
And always I had my little guy with me. Or a complete obvious token of him. Sometimes the hubs was along too.
It really doesn’t matter. The one consistency in all visions of how it would go down included this: I was the cool one.
It’s a long, stupid story, but after our five-year relationship ended, he acted like a child. Avoiding the hubs and I at all costs regardless of our long history and deep mutual friendships.
He was the immature one and it was bothersome, but not important.
The hubby and I? Moved on with our life in big ways. We have a wonderful, loving family. He? was a child.
In fact, the hubs has run into him. Quite a few times. Even with the wee one. And really? I loved that. I loved that he saw my wonderfully cute and happy son. I loved that he could see the joy in my life.
Seeing him while walking across a snowy, wet parking lot to my salt-covered car after an unsuccessful trip to Old Navy was not in any of my visions.
I was just thinking about what a dud of a trip out it had been and how the boy would be up from nap when I got home.
I was wearing the last jeans in the pile because tomorrow is laundry day. You know…the ones that are two thigh rubs away from having holes? Yeah. Those.
I had an entirely too huge hoodie, a dingy winter jacket, and my hair was piled up in a ratty buy with one of those stretchy headband things around my head to keep the wispys out of my eyes.
The only thing I had going for me was that I had decided to shower before this jaunt out of the house.
I don’t even know if he saw me.
He was marching across that lot with his new wife and a kid (his? a stepson?) toward a car parked RIGHT. NEXT. TO. MINE.
And I was too far into the parking lot to be going anywhere except my car.
But they were parked next to my driver’s side.
And we were going to arrive at our cars at the same time.
And I would have had to make some sort of social contact since I would have had to wait for his wife. He would have FOR SURE noticed who I was then.
So I hid.
Yup, I opened the passenger side door, ducked down and pretended to rummage through something on the floor until I heard his car start.
Then I grabbed my sunglasses, kept my head down, and walked around to my side.
By that time? They were gone.
I have no idea what his wife looks like.
I don’t know what kind of car it was.
All of this? Took place in about a minute and a half.
Very quick and then done.
But I sat in my car shaking for about five minutes before turning the car on and going home.
Not how I thought I would ever act.
Like a child.